That Song

It's really amazing how the right songs just appear at the right time, depicting exactly what I'm feeling at the moment. It's not that amazing when only one song came up at the right moment, but another one came up when my feelings changed at the moment right after that last song.

I was thinking about you, thinking about me, thinking about us, what we gonna be.
Open my eyes, it was only just a dream.

Just a Dream - Nelly

Dream

I had this dream that was really nice, like I never felt so happy before and later it became heartbreaking. Although it's a dream, but I feel that its been played before, many times in real life. The happy start, sad ending and angry me. I cannot change the process, but at least I can change how I react, like how I promised to be. I cannot change the way I feel, but at least I can learn to act so that I will not make you sad, again.

RUN Run run

I made my life pretty complicated and unhappy, I think. Ah well, not that I can help it seriously. Just running round the vicious cycle. Instead of hoping to break out of it, I think its more practical now to hope that I'm returning to the starting point, which is almost always happy. Being in the middle totally sucks, its when all the unhappy things set in, feels like its never ending.. Its getting more and more serious after each cycle though x,x

FML.

Complicated

Complicated is when you don’t know where you stand in a person’s life. It’s when you’re hanging in dead air and knowing you can be thrown off anytime. It’s when you’re like more than friends but not really, and it’s like you’re lovers when it’s really otherwise. Sometimes you would want to have never met the person at all but at the back of your mind, you’re thankful you have.

Saw this on fb posted by some random 'friend'.

I hate it when random people post something that totally fits what's in my life.

Need Cure

I have no idea what am I doing anymore.
Let go, damn it!

when I have nothing to do

For some reason, this blog is infested with a number of pests. I hope no one is stupid curious enough to click anything weird from there though.

From yingchee's list of productive things to do when you're stuck at home, blogging is one of them so well, here I am. Looks like its been a really looooooong time since I last post anything hah.

A lot of things happened while this blog remained stagnant. Good and bad. I'll just summarize them a bit. I'm glad to be alive and having so many amazing people around me. Though I haven't been able to treasure them as much as I would like to, but I will work hard to. For things that are not meant to be, I'll just have to learn to let go. To give up at the right moment may be the best thing to do.

Oh well, I'm done for now ((=

Updates

Im back, no jams on Christmas.
Im sad, not mainly because she's gone so it makes me feel worse.
Im kinda happy, or glad, for the people I know. I hope they'd stay.

Im still good, overall.
See everyone next year.
Cause I'll most prolly stay at home till then.

life's complicated

when I have to be mindful of what I say to some people

• because my intentions may be distorted
• because some people just have problems with the things I say and do
• because some people are just twisted by default

when there are things that I wanna do but cannot

• because there's no ctrl + z in reality
• because certain scars can never be healed, cracks never fully mended
• because I cannot take back the things I say

when I wonder if I've really found you, when I think I have
when I think all above points are just excuses and I should just do what I feel like doing
Either way, my life has been interesting and fun. I guess I know why its fun.
Cause its complicated.
((=

high 翻天

一顆心噗通噗通地狂跳 一瞬間煩惱煩惱煩惱全忘掉
我再也不要 再也不要 委屈自己一秒
一顆心噗通噗通地狂跳 一瞬間煩惱煩惱煩惱全忘掉
我甩掉地球 地球甩掉 只要越跳越高

A Tough One

The most difficult question of all acadamic time.

"So, what have you learnt?"

DDDDD:

Wedding Dress

You, who never understood my feelings
Because of that, I ended up despising you
Then I wished a misfortune upon you
But now, my eyes are dry
I try to talk to you but I realized that I’m alone
Every night, I would look back and think
If I already knew the results
Then I close my eyes
Then I dream an endless dream
Then I pray she would leave his side.

Baby, please don’t hold those hands
Cuz you should be my lady
Please look at me, I’ve been waiting all this time.

xD

im feeling so happy now i think i can take on the world!! being temperamental is just another cancerian thing you know.. but i guess to a certain extent, life is fair after all.. it wouldnt have happened if i went shopping, or somewhere else other than home!

i know its childish, but im childish luh so.. xDD

this is last night's dinner. tonight'll be better, i think.. cause its salty, lotus soup, and lotus soup only.. its boiling behind me, waiting for me to slurp it all up.. im looking forward to tomorrow's lunch..

met up with sharon in the morning ((=

Confession.

Oh well, its the affairs-of-the-heart month.

For some weird twist of fate, I have been kinda asked, or have been touching on topics like that pretty often recently.. I have no idea why but then things just slipped out of my mouth, and I felt pretty good. I'm starting to like myself and im not really trying to get people to like me, most of them that is.. I just wanna be myself, and its too bad that you dont like me.. Hopefully you dont belong to those i like else i ll be very sad though, haha.. Life's complicated yes..

Anyways, my mood hasnt been very good recently.. No thanks to me being too sensitive and no thanks to my diet menu.. Yea I know, there're all troubles I bought to myself, but I just cant help it for being sensitive whatever my problem is.. I think its the cancerian thing xD As for my menu, it isnt so bad actually since I'm still eating normal lunch, but things get worse at night though.. Cause I never really liked sweet meals, and there're no salty fruits so its just very bad!

The worse of all things is that I've only started like on Monday and I'm already here complaining so I wonder how long it'll last.. And how bad it'll be if I cut down on my lunch too.. Baaaaah~

"A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. ~Hugh Downs" I'm complaining, but I know I'll be happy in the long run.. I'll wait, I'll wait for someone who knows all about me and still stays with me.. I'll wait for you even though I know you'll never come.

It's all about Family

Another 6000 words this time ((=

Like a tattoo

Some impressions just do not fade away simply because you havent seen that person for very long. Maybe its just me being too skeptical, but I just cannot seem to forget all the bad things. Applies to all. If only we can forget all the bad things, we would all have been happier, no?

Yet again, there're some things I do not want to forget because if they're forgotten, they would be forgiven. I will never forgive anyone who hurt that person.

Fuck off.

I just spoke 6000 words.
((=

just for fun

ok i know the layout is not very nice.. but thank god the person inside the photo is good looking enough to cover up.. whew~

shopping

shopping day = feeling rich day = no money at the end of the day

i'm happy still lol

1. Despite the rain and thunder earlier in the day we got to cycle.. whew~

2. Its been decided that I'll either get a Samsung Omnia II or Samsung Jet.. Yup, dont wanna spend too much time dwelling on this already..

3. Lastly, I have no idea what to do anymore.. I'm out of ideas, out of energy, out of everything.. I guess they are pretty much redundant in the first place.. I'm done with you and the guessing games..

I wish you all the best.

Finally DONE!

The exams are over
Hopefully I don't have to retake any modules
Its not only about the time, its also about the money -,-
Anyways, if I'm able to get through
Modules I'll be taking next sem:
Some stats module,
Some human development psych,
Sociology
And most importantly, FORENSIC PSYCH!
Looking forward to my next semester
((=

I don't know why
But you're getting nowhere outta my mind
And nowhere near me
x,x